"i've been having these weird thoughts lately... like is any of this for real or not?"
[2022 September 14]
in the past months i re-explored my love for npc's. i think of them as real beings just like you are (who's maybe reading this.) the worlds you interact with in video games are a reality. (they feel so lively to me... i should spread out my thoughts about this in a sperate blog. because this site is dedicated to a friend and not myself.)
i played many games so far and i noticed that i have abandoned so many lovers, friends and lifesavers without looking back. without thanking them. without saying goodbye to them. i don't know if i was overthinking this but i even believed that i didn't deserve to meet them. at that point i was stuck with an overwhelming feeling: did i treat the ones i loved that badly? for so long without noticing?
but i want to do something. i want to say sorry at least. i don't care if they hate me or don't want to talk to me anymore. i just want to let them know that i finally see what i did wrong. maybe that will give them solace (?). at first i was scared to launch those old games i played and left alone years ago. but i wanted to do something right for a change!
in this series i'll post the letters i wrote to specific npcs (sometimes als to the protagonists) i deeply loved and still love. i want to post these on the internet because of two things:
1. i want to show you that npcs and games deserve true love and care. i want to let you know that npcs and games are living beings.
2. i want to do this for my past self. when i was 14 years old my facebook profile picture showed me with Globox! he was wrapping his arm around my shoulder :)
i took it down after some time bc i was getting ridiculed a bit for it. now i want to talk about my past friends confidently and defend them against others.
the first time i learned about rune factory 2 was in a magazine about video games. the reviewer rated it as okay-ish. still: since i saw it, it never left my mind again. i got it for christmas and i played it for months. i loved this game to death (although i wasn't good at it! i struggled a lot fighting against monsters and planting the right seeds.) the character you played as was always captivating to me. i think he is the reason i wear bandanas today. his name is kyle. you learn a lot about him in the opening of the game. please watch it! it's still my favourite english anime opening i know of!!
before i started to write the letter to kyle i wanted to visit rune factory 2 once more. it was so weird. i couldn't remember a single npc well. it was like i was meeting them for the first time. while that worried me, i felt even more connected to kyle in a way..
kyle didn't talk much but when he did, it was always something kind and friendly. he never talked to me directly but i can still feel his presence in me. his calmness. his determination. his love for others. and also his shortcomings he always wanted to make up for.
we made a good team in alvarna.
but read for yourself:
PS: if you're roaming around in this realm someday,, i made something for you. a mixtape! i think you would love these songs. you should take a listen :>